directed by: John Fasano

the plot: In an isolated farmhouse, a mother, father and their young son are all viciously killed by their possessed household appliances. Ten years later, hair-metal band The Tritonz, led by John Triton (Thor) venture to the farmhouse, which has been converted to a state-of-the-art recording studio. The band members’ girlfriends come along for the ride, and when the Tritonz aren’t rocking out, they’re getting busy with their girls. But the rock and debauchery come to an end when, one by one, band members are dispatched by a mysterious killer with creepy monster hands. Triton searches for his bandmates, but soon only Triton and his girlfriend Randy (Simpson) are left. That’s when Randy reveals that she is Satan himself! Joined by an army of one-eyed monsters and starfish-shaped creatures, Satan attempts to claim Triton’s soul. But Triton has a secret of his own—he’s a vengeful archangel ready to kick ass for the Lord!

why it’s good: Oh, Canada. Only our neighbors to the north could give us Jon-Mikl Thor, the self-described “legendary rock warrior” who wrote and produced “Rock ’n’ Roll Nightmare,” a movie that leaves you begging for mercy. How bad is it? Where to begin… Perhaps it’s the music of The Tritonz, hair-metal so atrocious that you’ll be running back to your old Winger records for comfort. Maybe it’s the gratuitous, never-ending sex scenes—especially the one featuring Jon-Mikl Thor, a bodybuilder whose over-developed pectoral muscles dwarf his on-screen girlfriend’s breasts. Or, it could be the ultra-lame special effects, which make judicious use of Play-Doh and a rubber suit that doesn’t look so much like Satan as it does a praying mantis. There’s also some egregious product placement (thanks, Coca-Cola!), gigantic plot holes (where did that werewolf boy come from?) and truly pitiful acting. That doesn’t mean you should avoid “Rock ’n’ Roll Nightmare,” though. Nay, you should embrace it! It’s a total laugh riot, and by the time Thor dons a studded codpiece, a cape and a bucket of mascara for the climactic battle with Satan, you’ll have cramps from laughing so hard.